I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
