I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
