ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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