She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
