Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
