omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
