u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
