you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
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That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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