does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
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She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
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it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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