I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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