When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i think my cat just said my name.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
