So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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