Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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