he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
