Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
