she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
