I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
