Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
