I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
