So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
