Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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