if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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