It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
