the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
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party gras won. party gras always wins.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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