Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
