Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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