I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
