So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
