Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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