hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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