Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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