it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
