at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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