that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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