It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
