Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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