I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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