this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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