tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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