no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
