The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
