You smell like a Billy Joel song
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
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you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
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I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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