There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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