Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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