All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Please, let me fuck your mom
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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