No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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