Joe is yelling at the trees again.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
