every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
