so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
