I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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