whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
