Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina