The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
