No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.