This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
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dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
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I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.