If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.