make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize