On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
