I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
