Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I love you.
Bad choice
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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