never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
