There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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