apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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