i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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