So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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