he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
