There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
