capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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