he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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