gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
