I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize