I take back everything I said about communal showers
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's rum buckets o'clock
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
