Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
